1. Oh no.2. No, no, no.3. Jesus.4. God.05. Something nasty is going to happen to you.06. Welcome to the so called 'Games'.07. It was the beginning of a dark age.08. A kind of cringe-making clash of civilizations.09. The people of the Earth sailed into the mouth of the Thames.10. A place of mud, and illiteracy, and embarrassing diseases.Introduction from the "Boris Johnson's Olympic Welcome" Video.
there's also his prayer to Ra:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/borisjohnson/9402260/To-avoid-the-Olympic-weather-forecast-please-look-away-now.html